Life. It goes on, ya dig?

So, last Tuesday we had our yearly "White Death" event. Bunch of freezing rain and snow and surely we were all going to die. I woke up that morning and headed into Custom Computers - the weather was hardly even wet. I had to leave work there after an hour because I'd found out that I had somehow not realized that I'd put on a t-shirt for work. That wouldn't do, I had to head home to change before going to Pomeroy. Headed home, got changed, checked the auctions in Warcraft, then headed out.

For the uninitiated, Maher road is impressive. My subdivision is in the middle of Maher, and flanking me on the East and West sides of the road are "the hills". Seriously, this road was made straight over three hills whose sole purpose was to be driven at maximum velocity, the kind of hills that inspire roller coasters. Now, I can get out of my subdivision through by squirreling through its streets to Hogrefe, but that's a slower route.

SIDEBAR: Hogrefe Road was moved about a decade ago when Bristow Road had a large spanning bridge installed. This spanning bridge removed access to Banklick and Hogrefe roads, as well as my old house. So Banklick was given a new entrance and moved south down Bristow and Hogrefe was moved north. Here's the interesting tidbit: Hogrefe Road is a very old road, and used to have a number of pig farms and slaughter houses. It was originally named Hog's Grief. And now you know.

So, I turned onto Maher and hadn't gotten far before I saw the cars on the side of the road and people trudging towards me. In the couple hours since I'd been home the rain came down, froze, and then got covered with snow. It must've been a quick operation cause like I said: when I got home there was no snow, no rain, all dry. I leave and it's a Winter Wonderland.

The first car I see on is stuck on the side of the road, driver-side wheels on the pavement, passenger wheels in the ditch that drop about three feet down (rapidly) and comes up three feet (rapidly). Good sharp embankment. (That's an important note.)

I stop in the middle of the road and roll down the passenger window. I ask the girl if she needs any help and she says she doesn't have a cell phone. Well, I put the truck in park, get out and walk around the truck to hand her my phone. Karma pays well, or at least that's what Earl Hickey says. But as I walk around the back of the truck one of the people trudging by notes: "There goes your truck." I look and, lo, my truck has begun to slide forward. From a parked position on the slightest of declines, the vehicle has begun to slide towards the woods.

It is my firmest of policies to look at all situations I cannot control with a light heart and find the humor in all things. My wife never understood that, and you may not either, but it's who I am. So it should come as no surprise that my response to seeing my sole form of transportation sliding towards a very sharp and deep ditch was to chuckle and say, "Yup, there she goes!"

It hit hard; much harder than you would have suspected for only sliding ten or so feet, but the drop off at the end and the sudden pitch down turned the other side of the ditch into a wet wall. The truck literally bounced, tilting to the driver's side as the driver's front wheel found its way deep into the ditch and the passenger's front wheel bounced to the top of the dirt wall. The driver's back wheel was still on the road, but tilting so hard forward and to the left, the back passenger's tire was a good three to four feet above the earth. I hopped in and tried to move it, but, well, no. Four-wheel-drive, hi and lo, nothing, no way, not budging.

So I handed the phone to the one I'd stopped to help in the first place (later found out her name was Britney) and me and another there (Steve) gawked at the truck. Phone calls made, AAA on their way for Britney (using my callback number because apparently I wasn't going anywhere!) we three trudged forward. The crest of the hill presented a wonderful site. At the bottom of the hill, the climax point that any rollercoaster designer would drool at, were about six cars, all in various states of disarray, littered along the sides of the road. A six-passenger van was perched at a 45 degree angle headed straight off the road, conjuring an image of its passengers uttering a chorus of "oh shit!" just as they slid off. Police had just arrived at the top of the next hill and were blocking off the road while slowly inching down the hill was a wrecker. We waved off people behind us who thought that maybe they had the stones to try Maher road; we told them that the road was blocked at the bottom and was being shut down by the police. People still tried. Of those that passed us, I don't remember many of them getting to the other hill, but there was a road at the bottom that they could have used for salvation.

So we get back to our cars and after making calls to work I resign myself to the possibility that I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. I did have the common sense to call Robert Todd but couldn't get through. A salt truck passes us and salts the road, an act that if it had been made 30 minutes earlier could have prevented all of this. Eventually AAA arrives and with very little effort pulls Britney's sedan back to the street. I asked if he could toss a line to pull my truck out and his reply is, "Fifty-five dollars." Well, Merry Christmas. I don't have $55. To be honestly, at the moment I have just barely over $.55 in my account, but that's another story. I wave off Britney and Steve and lots of other people as they're rescued from the depths of the hill. The ice has melted and the roads are wet, but passable. I get in touch with Robert and he says he'll be on his way, but he doesn't have a chain. Well, at least I'm closer to getting out.

Headed over the to crest of the hill, noting that most everyone has been rescued, and engage the police officer in hopes to see if he's got a chain. "That your truck?" he asks. I confirm that it is. "You're going to have to move it, it's in the road. I'll have to impound it if it's there much longer." I ask how much time I've got to move it. "Until that wrecker gets here", indicating the one at the bottom of the hill pulling out another stranded car.

Merry Christmas!

So, I've got about thirty minutes to get the truck out, someone on their way from a location that's normally ten minutes away, at least twenty in the current conditions, but no chain for when he arrives. So I stand there next to the truck, smiling at the people passing by and recognizing more than a few of the faces as people I'd just walked and talked with when they were trapped. Everyone commiserates and are shocked that I'm not hurt after looking at the truck, and then doubly-shocked when I explain that I wasn't even in it when it went. Even the salt-truck driver took pity and made an extra pass behind the truck to improve traction for whoever pulls me out. Of course, no one has a chain, and when Robert arrives we can do little but look at the truck and say, "Yup, that's an impressive site." Of note, this would be the second time in my life I'd wished I'd had a camera phone.

Robert heads off to find a chain. I stand by the truck, occasionally talking to Dad to see if he's got AAA, which puts us on the path to talk to AARP who can help, all the while smiling at passerby's and asking if they've got a chain. AARP calls back to state that they can come to tow me out just as Robert arrives with a chain, and at that moment the dreaded wrecker crests the hill.

This was actually lucky as the wrecker driver offered help in the chaining of the vehicle without charging money for his expertise. He warned that the original way that we'd hooked up the chain could have resulted in completely flipping the truck, and that would have been a bad thing. So with his supervision we pull the truck out! Hooray! And with the exception of a fog-light that's been dislodged from its home in the bumper there doesn't appear to be any real damage, not even the alignment. I headed back home to warm up, dry off, then headed back to work, only two and a half hours late.

Had I left the house 20 minutes later I could have avoided the entire thing. Had I taken Hogrefe instead of Maher I could have avoided it all. Had I not stopped to offer a stranger my cell phone I could have avoided it all.

But then, I wouldn't have a story to tell.