Or more to the point: self-enlightenment. It's amazing, pure and simple. To become enlightened. Don't chalk me up as some Buddha spouting, reborn Christian, loony that you'd find handing out pamphlets at the airport. I'm not talking about any sort of religious experience, but merely coming to terms with yourself and understanding yourself.

My mind is racing all the time. It's like a nonstop high. Quite simply, I'm happy. I'm seeing things clear and simple, and I'm cutting through the fluff that we pad our lives with. I can't watch TV, I can hardly play games on the computer. I tried. Last night I tried to settle back in the recliner for a couple hours of pure unadulterated couch potatoism, but I couldn't. And "Fight Club" was on, too, which is a damn fine movie and well worth watching over and over. Still, I wasn't content. I turned off the TV (something that's rarely done in my home) and began doing sit-ups. Later, I tried to play some games on the computer. Tribes. Asheron's Call. Ultima Online. Boring. I just couldn't do it. As a matter of fact, I think I'm going to cancel my UO account. At the least, I'm putting it on an indefinite pause. Instead of playing games I worked on the website. This has actually been going on for awhile, building up to a crescendo of self-improvement. Yesterday I spent my entire lunch break taking my car to the car wash and giving it a spring cleaning. It's been so long since I've cleaned my car that I found multiple empty cigarette packs... I haven't smoked since 1998!

The problems with enlightenment? Well, I've already touched on a few. Firstly, unless I'm actively working on myself or my projects (web pages, cleaning apartment, etc), I'm bored. At my job I sit in front of a computer and take calls. It's been fairly light the past few days, leaving me bored as can be. I want to bring some weights in here and work out. Hell, if I could just drop down and do sit-ups I'd be happy. My mind has a plan for what my body, life, and spirit should do, be doing, and what shape they'll take. I'm finally putting these plans in motion.

Don't worry, I'll be playing games again soon, and I'll be kicking out some more reviews. And as far as Bellicose goes, there's work being done by a friend in creating the underlying game rules dictating combat and character creation.

Things are coming into place.